This is the same tired question that has perplexed thinkers for centuries yet it has been bouncing around in my head all day. I hear it all the time, especially from women
"If it's meant to be, it will be"
This statement I've heard applied to anything from relationships to a pair of shoes. The logic goes: If the universe is going to conspire to allow me to have the resources to buy that exact pair of shoes in that exact size then it is going to happen and no obstacle can obstruct it.

I constantly struggle with this preordained destiny versus self-determination argument constantly. On one hand, it is kind of comforting to know that things are meant to happen as they should, similar to being a passenger on a cruise to a particular destination. Fate ensures the believer faith in the process; the forces that be are assuring that you end up in the time and place that you are supposed to be. Now, I don't mean to evoke a worn out metaphor here but I would rather be the captain, consciously in charge of what direction I am going, steering the boat, if you will. Fate seems too passive.

Real Life Example:

One boring day at work, I am in the back eating an apple when I overhear the conversation between my co-worker and her customer. I hear rumblings about a television show with Nathan Fillion, who I know from Firefly because I have the entire IMDB website memorized. Sad but true. I poke out there and try to insert myself into the conversation. Minutes later, I discover that the woman, Liz, is a writer for a number of television shows most recently Castle, who starts the aforementioned Fillion, who by the way is dashingly handsome ala Harrison Ford. I tell her about my aspirations to join the industry and low and behold, I am having coffee with her this Sunday and she has already forwarded my resume to her agent for interest in an assistant position.

Now was destiny or my own strong will and lack of fear of butting into conversation at play here? Most would say a mix of both. Now not to be too acquiescent here but I'm just going to let the "universe", "forces", "God", or "fate" point me in the right direction for the next couple of weeks now. Since South Korea is looking pretty dim and I don't want to have to burden my parents with continuing to constantly support me, I think I need to become more self-sufficient now. But I am still holding onto wanting to travel and serve in other countries.

Seth used to do this a lot and I really like it. Here are some things I want to say to people but I will not post their names:

1. It's not that I don't think you are smart, driven, and have many qualities I would usually go for, but I'm not feeling it, not feeling that ZING you get when you know it's right.
2. Becoming closer with you this year has totally saved me in more ways than one. You are one of the kindest, most caring, and intelligent people I have met and you have been there for me through the darkest of times. I appreciate you.
3. I am proud of you for taking action instead of talking about it. You know you have been chipping away at me for years because of your own insecurities and now that you are FINALLY talking about it openly is giving me hope.
4. I like that I have this balance with you. Sometimes we can be really serious and get into some deep issues but we also have this goofy, ridiculous, silly chemistry with each other that lightens the load of some of the things we reveal to each other. You are a great friend.


That's it. Peace out!