Ruminations

Inspired by Aaron Karo:

-Inevitably when going out to restaurants I find myself embroiled in a Catch-22. The waiter or waitress, judging by my young age assumes that I will a. neither rack up the bill significantly and resultingly b. not give them a good tip, so they choose to ignore or completely abandon all serviceable duties towards my table. Now I find myself in a predicament- do I unjustly reward bad service by giving him or her a good tip or do I reinforce her negative assessment of my demographic by tipping him or her what he/she deserves? Eh...I always tip 20% and end up hating myself afterwards but hopefully I've made a little difference in the world for 20-something diners.

-I've realized when it comes to dating, not caring is the new black. I've found myself converted when a guy friend recently confessed his undying love and devotion and instead of reciprocation on my behalf, I kindly told him that I was going to bed.

-Ever have that friend that you always mean to catch up with, but circumstances always prevent the actual conversation from happening, so that the more time that goes on the interminably longer the conversation is going to be so you just keep putting it off cause who has time for a three hour phone conversation? I do.

-I wonder if all the women Anthony Hopkins dates are secretly afraid that he's going to kill them and eat their livers with fava beans and nice Chianti.

-Wikipedia is like Target. You go in there thinking, oh I just need to figure out what the Fermi Paradox is and then thirty minutes later you're learning about the personhood of the Ape. You always end up with more than you bargained for.

-Delivery is almost always better than DiGorno.

-I am always mystified as to why car commercials ever show the test drive with the dummies. Is this supposed to comfort the public? Oh when you are in a head-on collison, your head will probably pop off and some limbs will be bending in the wrong direction, but don't worry about your car!

Aaaaannnd there you go.