Doing it well

Let's suppose I am an alien visitor to the body of land known as the United States. Among the many peculiarities of the human race, I distinctly notice the preoccupations with mating rituals and the reproductive act itself. While males seemed to possess a singular focus on obtaining innumerable attractive partners, the female discernment of appropriate partners seems particularly murky. The media of American culture seems to operate in a distorted circular pattern; the media influences culture and human action while simultaneously acting as a reflection of those same human actions etc.

In terms of attracting a male it seems that history has presented women with one of two gender roles or options; the pure, chaste Madonnna or the devious, promiscuous whore. However, in recent decades, film and television has been intent on blurring the lines between these two polar roles, therefore complicating the appropriate line between normal sexual behavior and deviancy and signifying certain messages about sex.


Sex and the City-the textbook epitome of female sexual liberation. These women sleep around, shop excessively, and hold successful jobs. Frequent sex outside of a monogamous relationship=power.

Any number of horror films- most horror films, especially the growing torture porn subgenre, seem to be an exercise in misogynistic evisceration, both physical and metaphorical, of women's sexual power. Standard progression of scenes: girl loses her virginity to her piggish jock boyfriend, next she loses her life to chainsaw/knife/machine-wielding madman. Sex=death

Or take a film I recently watched


The Girlfriend Experience-Chelsea is an escort who provides for an exorbitant fee, GFE or a "girlfriend experience". She will kiss them, cuddle them, listen to them bemoan the shrinking economy (film is set prior to the November 2008 election) all while she cooly sits there, raking up their hard-earned dollars. Yet they continue to call her back for her services. Sex= business transaction.

I'm not an alien. I'm a 22 year old woman. What's a girl to do? Notice how I didn't cite examples that sex=pleasure. That's an obvious statement. But what sex can lead to, =herpes, =attachment, =pain, almost makes it seem not worth the risk outside of a relationship. And it's been scientifically suggested that a chemical, oxytocin, is released in the brain of females during sex which fosters feelings of attachment. So how does one negotiate casual sex in this whirlpool of conflicting emotions and expectations?

I suppose overanalyzing it to death in a blog is not quite the way to go. But I can't deny that I long for the human touch, kissing and bonuses, and the warmth of another body close by. Yet despite these yearnings, I have to admit to myself...

I'm just not that kind of girl.